Flirting is something we often do without realizing it. Whether it’s through eye contact, humor, or simple gestures, flirting is a subtle yet powerful way to show interest. But not everyone flirts the same way. In fact, psychology research has identified five distinct flirting styles—and you likely use one of them more than the others without even knowing it.

This guide will help you understand the most common flirting styles, their traits, and how to spot your own.

What is Flirting, Really?

Flirting is a playful or romantic way of expressing interest in someone. It can involve verbal cues, body language, emotional engagement, or all of the above. Unlike being friendly, flirting usually carries a subtle undertone of attraction—even if it’s not always conscious or intentional.

The 5 Flirting Styles Explained

1. Physical Flirting

People with a physical flirting style are confident and expressive. They’re often comfortable using touch as a form of connection—like casually placing a hand on someone’s arm or giving a lingering hug.

They make strong eye contact, smile easily, and tend to be direct. Physical flirts are typically perceived as bold and charming, but sometimes they can come across as overly forward.

You might be a physical flirt if:

• You feel comfortable initiating touch
• You enjoy using body language to show interest
• You’re often the first to make a move

2. Traditional Flirting

Traditional flirts prefer a more old-school approach to romance. They often follow gender roles, with men taking the lead and women responding more passively. This style values patience, subtlety, and slower progression.

You’ll rarely see a traditional flirt making the first move or being overly direct. They tend to wait for clear signals of interest and enjoy a courtship-style connection.

You might be a traditional flirt if:

• You prefer others to make the first move
• You believe in taking time before expressing interest
• You’re polite and reserved in romantic settings

3. Sincere Flirting

Sincere flirts are all about emotional connection. They’re warm, attentive, and deeply interested in their conversation partner. Their flirting style develops naturally through meaningful interactions and shared values.

This style often goes unnoticed because it looks a lot like friendly behavior. But behind the conversation is a genuine intent to form a bond.

You might be a sincere flirt if:

• You ask deep questions and listen closely
• You flirt more with your words than your body
• You prefer real connection over playful teasing

4. Playful Flirting

Playful flirts enjoy the excitement of flirting more than the outcome. They often flirt to have fun, boost their self-confidence, or engage with others in a lighthearted way.

This style includes teasing, joking, and dramatic gestures. While it can be entertaining, it sometimes confuses others who may not know if the interest is genuine.

You might be a playful flirt if:

• You love teasing and making people laugh
• You flirt with multiple people just for fun
• You’re not always seeking something serious

5. Polite Flirting

Polite flirts are reserved and cautious, prioritizing respect and consent. They use gentle compliments, personal space, and appropriate behavior to show interest.

While this style is often appreciated for its sincerity, it can be so subtle that it goes unnoticed, especially in loud or fast-paced social settings.

You might be a polite flirt if:

• You’re careful about respecting boundaries
• You prefer indirect signals of attraction
• You express interest with kindness and manners

Why Do We Flirt the Way We Do?

Your flirting style often comes from a mix of personality, upbringing, cultural background, and past experiences. Extroverts might lean toward physical or playful flirting, while introverts may prefer sincerity or polite gestures.

Other influences include:

• Confidence levels
• Comfort with physical touch
• Relationship goals (short-term vs. long-term)
• Previous romantic feedback or experiences

How to Find Out Your Flirting Style

Ask yourself:

• How do I show someone I’m interested?
• Am I more comfortable talking, touching, or joking?
• Do people often know when I’m flirting?

You can also reflect on past interactions or try an online flirting style quiz for a quick breakdown.

Can You Change Your Flirting Style?

Yes—your style isn’t fixed. If your usual approach isn’t working or is being misread, you can experiment with new behaviors. For instance, a sincere flirt might try adding playful banter, or a traditional flirt might practice being more direct.

The goal is to be intentional and aware, not to change who you are.